Tuesday, June 08, 2004
What're YOU Lookin' At?!
Ok, so when I started this thing here (that you're reading RIGHT NOW) I didn't have any plans of being popular. Well, it's happened, folks...At least that's what my publicist says...I'm now (for the next 4 seconds, anyway) MORE POPULAR THAN JESUS! I mean Jesus Martinez, the guy that pushes the tamale cart over on Paseo. He can be a real jerk sometimes...
I have big ideas, people, big ideas! I'm an idea man! I'm gestalt! AND NO, THAT ISN'T THE SAME AS GAUNT, YOU VOCABULARY CHALLENGED BASTARD! Ah-heh...um...
So i was kicking the dog around the other day and decided that it was high time that I became the "Las Vegas of Colorado Springs." I have opened "Caesar Collin's Forum Shops." It's meant to augment the shopping experience for locals, not replace it. Never fear, you'll still have your Citadel and your Briargate Shops...Now, you have (yet another) choice for your overpriced crapola needs...
Currently, it's a sad little skeleton of a shopping mall. Actually, it's also full of sad little skeletons, you see, it's a former mausoleum. I got a killer deal on the place! Now, all I have to do is find a place to stash the bodies and we're home free...
Tomorrow I shall begin selling space in my Forum Shops. There shall surely be a mad dash to be the first to sign up for space in my prestigious "mall of the dead," so if you plan on grabbing yourself a piece of the "action," so to speak, get there early. We'll have coffee, donuts and souvenir femurs for the first 25 in line.
I often sit and lament the current state of politics. I also kick around the idea of "voting" in an effort to influence the outcome...I hear good things! I should really look into that someday...
So there you be. As of now, Caesar Collin's Forum Shops are nothing but a fetid stinkhole, rife with death and despair BUT NEVER FEAR! We'll have a Starbucks and a Q'Doba under contract before you know it...
I have big ideas, people, big ideas! I'm an idea man! I'm gestalt! AND NO, THAT ISN'T THE SAME AS GAUNT, YOU VOCABULARY CHALLENGED BASTARD! Ah-heh...um...
So i was kicking the dog around the other day and decided that it was high time that I became the "Las Vegas of Colorado Springs." I have opened "Caesar Collin's Forum Shops." It's meant to augment the shopping experience for locals, not replace it. Never fear, you'll still have your Citadel and your Briargate Shops...Now, you have (yet another) choice for your overpriced crapola needs...
Currently, it's a sad little skeleton of a shopping mall. Actually, it's also full of sad little skeletons, you see, it's a former mausoleum. I got a killer deal on the place! Now, all I have to do is find a place to stash the bodies and we're home free...
Tomorrow I shall begin selling space in my Forum Shops. There shall surely be a mad dash to be the first to sign up for space in my prestigious "mall of the dead," so if you plan on grabbing yourself a piece of the "action," so to speak, get there early. We'll have coffee, donuts and souvenir femurs for the first 25 in line.
I often sit and lament the current state of politics. I also kick around the idea of "voting" in an effort to influence the outcome...I hear good things! I should really look into that someday...
So there you be. As of now, Caesar Collin's Forum Shops are nothing but a fetid stinkhole, rife with death and despair BUT NEVER FEAR! We'll have a Starbucks and a Q'Doba under contract before you know it...
