And my cupboard on my mind..."Hi. I'm indisposed, but if you leave your name and number at the boop I'll track you down and make you wish you were never ever EVER born. Or is it 'borned?' ah Hell..."

Actually, I needed this "indisposition" like I need another hole in my head. I'm going anywhere and everywhere I can, spreading my message of peace, love, harmony and the buying of the whole world some coke. Not a coke, some...I don't like to share. That's pretty much the way all of my vacations have been since I got out of the State Pen. I use them to try to get wound up tighter than...well..a very tight thing so's I can make it to my next indisposition.

Derek really is "the man"...I really feel the need to type that right here...

I like Las Vegas, but I despise England. I'd choose to live anywhere but there (Eeengland). I'm saying this because I'm a perfectly normal American male with no obsessive tendencies whatsoever. I NEVER worry about ANYTHING because I'm well-adjusted beyond all comprehension. I am going to demonstrate this by throwing the phrase "ad nauseam" at you. This shows that I am not only well adjusted, but that I possess a higher level of intelligence than your average scummy person, filthy with their scum.

scum...

One of the things that I like to do is lie. I am going to lie RIGHT NOW!..Here we go: I have been able to take my kids to the park to play every day so far, and we went to see 'Shrek 2' today, which was a fun movie.

I am always so Goddamned happy, tonight my son inquired as to when I would become angry and, potentially, discipline him in an aggressive and inappropriate manner. I told him not to worry, that he'd be a teenager soon and I should surely have occasion to become angry with him and allow my emotions to take control of me. I assured him that I would, at that time, display rage. He seemed to be satisfied with my answer and he toddled off to bed, his belly full of warm food and his heart filled with sweet, sweet love.

I read a story today about an elderly woman who died after being bitten by a rabid squirrel. I'd wager that she taunted the poor creature! YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED, YOU OLD, SQUIRREL MOLESTING HAG! Ah-heh...Sorry about that...

I'm thinking of becoming a lawyer. I could then make heaps of cash from countless poor slobs who have to rely on their insurance companies to pay the hefty judgements I should surely win from them, thereby ruining their potential insurability. I could sue folks for such things as "mental trauma due to unpleasant asthetics" and possibly even "Giving innocent citizens the 'stink-eye.'" Should be fun, I'll keep you all posted. STINK-EYE GIVERS BEWARE! I AM ON YOUR FILTHY, SCUM-LADEN TRAIL!..

*BOOOOP*