Thursday, July 15, 2004

Send in....THE CLOWNS!..  

Aww, crap, where are they? They always come around and give me wedgies and steal my Schlitz® malt liquor collectible coins. I hate them! Anyways, here's a little story for you all, replete with a mystery code at the beginning...


Jojo was a man, he thought he was a loner. Of course, you would be too if you carried the kind of psychological baggage that this loser did. There's the incident with the gorillas at the neighborhood zoo...and then there was the small amount of time he spent in the street gang. He's still trying to figure out that whole "tagging" concept...

But, no matter how many people wish to have Jojo dead, you really should be able to derive some inspiration from how much he loves life. Ignorance is bliss, after all...

One such incident that should prove my point happened just weeks ago near Old Shanty Town. There was an injured puppy that had been found over by the railroad tracks. Jojo tried his damnedest to nurse the little fella back to health. Turns out it wasn't a puppy after all, it was a rat, it bit him, he contracted rabies and died a horrible, painful, frightful death. But he was a trooper right up to the end.

Ahh, well. Only the good die young...Where was I?

Oh, yeah, I'm enrolling in Clown College! There's no residency restrictions and I can be in and out with a degree in just under 6 months. I figured it was Clown College, Bartending College or Beauty Academy, but in the end, making people laugh while scaring children HAD to win out. After all, they don't allow kids inside taverns and those little fuckers won't keep their head still when you're trying to cut their hair. At least I didn't when I was a kid. I don't think that society has changed all than much, do you?

So anyway, yeah. I'm gonna be "Butt Trumpet" the clown. I figure I should hit big in France.

The college offers a 12-step program where you get your own room, your own mentor and even get to choose your own personal "higher power." Oh, wait, that's that OTHER place...I'm not allowed back there, all because of my cool, colorful bottle collection.

Sometimes it's nice to have different bottles that you can collect and then display with pretty wildflowers in them. It really can bring a certain rustic charm to any decor and brighten up the fragrance of a room.


So where was I?..Oh, yes, clown college. I'll be starting my training soon, starting with remedial trips and falls, basic makeup technique and anger management. It's a tough courseload, but I can handle it. If I can handle living in a shanty (in old Shanty Town) and eating mouse squeezin's, this should be cake.

I'll be available for birthdays, weddings, barmitzvahs, batmitzvahs, funerals and televised court proceedings very soon...Maybe I'll even have a website!

Next stop: Scary clown!

Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?